Not Even Destiny
by Brikki
Summary: This started as a oneshot lemon. Now it has multiple chapters. Upset about his curse mark, Neji falls to temptation to self-injury. When Lee discovers this, he is very comforting. One thing leads to another and they wind up in bed. Warnings: Self-injury and Lemons. Please Review! I love feedback.
1. Not Even Destiny

"Neji! What the heck is going on in there?" I hear Lee screaming from the other side of the door as I watch blood drip from my face into the sink.

I try to steady my voice so he won't know what's wrong, or that I've been crying and I say "Nothing, I just feel a little sick."

"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" The skepticism is clear in his voice; I've done a miserable job at sounding even remotely okay, and Lee is smarter than you'll ever hear me give him credit for.

I try again to make my voice even and this time I manage a slightly more realistic tone when I say "I'm sure. I just need a few minutes." And I pray to the Kami he's buying it.

Ten minutes ago, I was laying in my bed in the attached hotel room, reading a book and passively responding to Lee's chattering from across the room. I was vaguely daydreaming of my future: how I will progress as a ninja and how my relationships will develop. Then, I read the word "Juinjutsu" and the illusion of my own control over my life instantly evaporated. I am forever bound by this "x" on my forehead to surrender my free will entirely to the head family of my clan. I gave a brief thought to Naruto, remembering how valiantly he fought against his destiny, embodied in me, and thinking of his victory encouraged me. On a normal day, that's all it takes to make me feel just as determined to find a way to remove or at least mitigate the cursed seal. Today, however, isn't a normal day, because my mind was stuck on the fact that my destiny is decided by my uncle, that nothing I can ever do will change that his family owns me, and the first born of each generation will own any children I might have, that not even if I have children or who I have them with is up to me, that when it all comes down to it, nothing can rid me of this curse which binds me to the will of my extended family until all life leaves my body.

So, my thoughts firmly implanted in the realm of helplessness, I excused myself to use the bathroom. I stared in the mirror for a moment and tried to calm myself before I did something I would regret. But my own image, even with the curse mark hidden away under my headband, only forced me to look at the person saddled with this miserable, inescapable destiny. I ripped my headband off and stared at the mark that claims my life. It's such a pretty mark to represent something so hideous; Pale, almost glowing blue lines, shaped into a perfectly centered x, with a hook on each side reaching out for it. Staring at myself, I could no longer resist the temptation. I snatched Tenten's razor off the side of the tub and forced my chakra through the pink plastic to burst the strings that hold the blades in place. Then I carefully removed the shining bit of metal from the broken plastic all the while telling myself that I'm not the kind of person who self-injures. I'm too collected, too smart, too strong, too fast, too skeptical, too useful, too knowledgeable, too experienced, maybe even just too pretty to feel the desire to draw sharp objects across my own skin. Nothing worked and I pulled the metal across the center of my forehead, making a perfect horizontal cut, bisecting the angles of the "x". Blood pooled in scattered dots over the line and began to pour down to my nose. I put the blade to my head again and turned the x into an asterisk. Again I tried reminding myself that I'm not supposed to act like this, but to no avail. I couldn't stop myself from slashing away, line after line, covering the x, the hooks, everything blue until my face became a canvas of blood, thinned in certain streaks by the tears now overflowing my soulless looking eyes.

And the Kami apparently haven't answered my prayers, because Lee won't buy the excuse that I'm sick and now he yells at me "Neji, Let me in! I know you are not okay!" I brace myself against the door, and let my headband clatter to the floor.

"No, Lee! Goddamn it! Can't- can't I- have some privacy to be sick in?" I try to sound angry, but I couldn't hold back a sob in the middle, and now he knows.

"I am coming in, like it or not!" And I move quickly so that only the door comes crashing down to the now bloodstained tiles when he kicks it off of its hinges. Lee looks at me, and I stutter something out; that this was somehow, an accident, but there's no way he heard me anyway. I've seen Lee make a lot of expressions. He's expressive enough to cry in joy, sadness, pain, and terror. I've watched him coldly as he lay broken; sobbing on the ground because I had beaten him with so little effort, and I heard him cry out his version of the prognosis Tsunade gave him after his fight with Gaara. But of all the expressions I've ever seen on his face, this one is the most understated and solemn and somehow the absolute most brokenhearted that I've ever seen.

"Neji... I..." He stops, unable to work up the power of speech. "Neji..." Lee tries and falters again.

"What, Lee?" I keep the words understandable before I lose it all and start sobbing at the ground and staining everything near me with bloody tears. Lee walks on the broken door, crossing the tiny room and sits beside me in the floor.

"Neji, it is going to be okay." And he touches my cheek gently, then pulls my face up so I'm looking into his incredibly intense eyes. "I will make you feel better, I promise it." And he uses the hand not holding my face to make a "nice guy pose". This renders me totally speechless. Lee has always used this pose in a very light, almost comical way (although very intense and earnest), but this time, he's being completely sensitive, and this kindness touches me on a deeper level than I knew I possessed until right now.

"Thank you" I manage and I bury my face in the shoulder of that skintight green jumpsuit I'm always ridiculing and pour my soul out in between sobbing and choking on my words. I tell Lee how I feel owned. I tell him how my destiny seems especially binding even in light of the others I've seen overcome. I tell him how much I hate to look at myself because I hate the reminder of what my headband is covering. I tell him how my whole life is beyond my control. I tell him how my clan ruins every dream I have. I tell him how helpless I feel. I tell him how much it hurts to know I'm just a puppet for the protection of my uncle and his family. I tell him how desperately I wish I could control destiny. I tell him how hard I try not to think about any of this. I tell him how I tried to convince myself I was too good to cut myself. I tell him why I've just sliced my forehead to shreds and how I hoped to do poetic justice to the little blue mark that made such a horrific impact on my life. In short, I tell him everything I'm feeling. He softly rubs my back as I do, and occasionally gives an encouraging nod, but doesn't speak a word until I prompt him to.

This takes the form of me choking out a very childish "Why me?"

"Because, Neji, you're strong enough to handle it"

"What?" This answer has me completely taken aback.

He shrugs. "If any of the rest of us were you, I am sure we would be dead already. Frankly, I am surprised this is all you had to do to calm yourself down. If it were me, I would have committed suicide here."

"Lee, I- I don't know what to say."

"You do not need to. I know what you mean" Lee kneels in front of me, so we're face to face, on the same level and he wraps his bandaged arms around me. I allow myself to melt, and slide my arms around him too, fitting as a perfect puzzle under his. He's being so kind to me. Listening to me cry like a child without the slightest hint of judgment, looking at me like I'm still strong and this happens to everybody.

My mind pulls at me, forcing me to re-live Lee, crumpled on the ground, looking up at me, "I will train harder. I will beat you next time" he whispers through tears. And I hear myself laugh at his misery "You're a failure. You'll always be a failure. And quit your crying. Crying doesn't change anything." In harmony, the Lee of my memories and I produce a fresh torrent of tears, Lee from hopelessness, and me from utterly unbearable guilt. There are eight thousand times just like that, Lee hurting, reaching out for a little acknowledgment, and me, ridiculing him, laughing coldly, forcing him further and further into his personal hell. I hate myself for these moments, and I hate my mind for forcing me to go over them again and again.

"Lee, I'm sorry." My voice is muffled by his chest and the fabric of his jumpsuit.

"What in the world for?" Lee asks, genuinely confused. I feel a small smile pull at my lips because Lee lives so much in the moment that he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"For saying such horrible things to you. For telling you you'd always be a failure. For laughing at you when you cried from it all. For being so cruel. You're not a failure. You're a genius of effort and more than a respectable ninja. I should've never told you otherwise."

"You really mean that, Neji?" He looks at me like I've given him the world on a silver platter.

"I do, Lee. I'm so sorry."

"THANK YOU!" And he starts crying tears of joy, and I'm grateful for the natural expression on his face. I try to explain to him that I was mean to him because of how badly I felt, that I was mean to everyone because I didn't know how to be nice, and I wholeheartedly believed that I was worthless, so anyone I could beat in a fight was clearly less than worthless, but Lee doesn't care for the explanation at all. He's just happy that I've started being nice to him now, and ecstatic that I called him a respectable ninja. I'm forgiven without Lee even requiring an explanation, less yet something to make up for what I've done.

Even more grateful tears spill over my eyelids, and I squeeze Lee tighter against myself. He absently runs his fingers through my hair, pulling out the band at the end.

"You know, Neji, you look nicer when you have your hair down." He plays with a lock, wrapping it around his finger, and I blush a little, unsure of what to say.

I go with "Thank you, Lee, not just for the compliment, but for all of this. Thank you for listening," pulling away enough to look back into his eyes.

"It is not a problem! I care deeply for you; I could not stand to let you hurt without at least trying to comfort you."

"I... care for you too, Lee." I readjust so my nose touches his and he slides his hands back into my hair, combing the back with his fingers. I smile, and wipe the blood and tears from my face with the bandages on my right arm. "I'm lucky to have someone like you to care for me."

"I am lucky too" Lee says, and only now do I realize that we're so close that I can feel his breath on my lips as he speaks. I'm surprised that the feeling is tinted with desire, and, now accustomed to giving up my collection and self-control, without realizing what I'm doing or why, I push my lips against his and linger there. I keep my eyes open long enough to see his widen in surprise as I close my own. Even after pulling away, it takes me a second to realize what I've just done.

"Oh... Lee, I'm... sorry" I stutter, eyes snapping closed again, hoping that maybe, if I just don't see the reaction, it won't occur. Lee seems to know that talking isn't necessary here, so without a word, his lips are back against mine, and they're parting them in a kiss remarkably more intense than the one I instigated a moment ago. I react with enthusiasm and despite the fact that this is my first real kiss, I seem to know exactly what I'm doing. A minute of kissing, and I want it more intense. I break away in a fit of giggles, collapsing over myself, yet again in tears, but this time, because I find it so funny.

"Did I..." Lee looks mortified, his face red as blood "Mess something up?"

"No, no, not at all!" I reassure him quickly "I enjoyed it so much, I never wanted it to end!" He looks confused (and I don't blame him since I was the one to end the kiss by laughing out of it), so I giggle some more. "I just, I wanted it to get more intense, and I never thought I'd be telling Rock Lee to be _more_ intense" Now he's laughing with me and we hug, clinging tight to each other, enjoying life with one of our important people. After a few moments of contented holding each other, I stand up and hold out a hand to help him up, like I'm asking him to dance... And what we're about to do _is _dancing, in a manner of speaking, right?

He takes my hand, accepting the invitation, and I lead him to the bed I'm supposed to be sleeping in, throwing a glance over to Tenten to ensure that she's still fast asleep. Gently, I push him onto the bed, and now that the stage is set, the first step I take is to kiss him again. This time, confidently, passionately, and yes, intensely. He reacts to me not unlike how he did while I was spilling my soul to him, knowing just when and how to answer. In this dance, my clothes are first to be thrown in a crumpled pile beside the bed, then Lee loses his, and I'm filled with an all-consuming lust for the beautiful person splayed out beneath me. The shape of his face, the curve of his neck, all the scars upon scars from his rigorous training, the way his face is over-expressing something already so intense; it's all just so wonderful to me that I can't believe I've missed Lee's undeniable beauty up to this point. And I have to let him know that he's unbearably gorgeous to me. Otherwise he'll never know just how wonderful he is, in absolutely every way. So, I break off the kiss we're entangled in and am surprised to hear "Lee, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" come out of my mouth as a moan, dripping with desire. His eyes are filled with joyful tears once again, and once they start to flow down his cheeks, I kiss every last teardrop away. Lee watches me adoringly as the salt on my lips tempts me to taste it, and I allow myself to fall to that temptation, then return my lips to his, so he can see how amazing it is for himself.

This time, the lust of the kiss is so consuming, neither of us can bear it quietly, and we definitely can't bear to leave it at just a kiss, so, in tandem, our hands move to touch nearly every bit of hot skin we can find with them, desperately grabbing each other for more sensation. The soft sound of his excited moaning and the scent of arousal that permeates the air push me further out of control, and I eagerly throw my power away in exchange for more of this beautiful dance. Despite the abandonment of my self-control, I can't seem to figure out how to move this on to the next level without risk of embarrassing the hell out of myself, but I absolutely can't stand to let it stay this way, so with more nerve than it took to deliberately allow myself to be impaled through the stomach with an arrow, I move my hands to the most sensitive part of Lee's anatomy. Encouraged by his gasp of pleasure, I make our dance more upbeat, and soon he follows suit, his hands drifting down between my legs, gently caressing me, although I know he's fighting temptation to move as quickly as he can. I hear myself cry out in pleasure, so consumed in this moment that I can't really say I made the noise myself, and our unintentional noises swirl into a song of blissful moaning that matches the motions.

Lee's moving faster, more frantically, and I take my cue to do the same, squeezing my hand gently and drawing another grateful cry from his mouth, then I force my own mouth roughly to cut off the sound, and swear I can taste his arousal there. Even while kissing I keep my eyes locked on Lee's, except for the few times I glance away to take in more of the scene. Then, I remember my blessed eyes have uses outside of fighting. I use my Byakugan to watch every inch of my gorgeous dance partner all at once, and watching him experiencing such fierce pleasure exponentially increases my own, so by the time we get to the next step, there's too much delicious arousal for anyone to be concerned with nerves. I break off our kiss, and move over him to nestle myself between his legs. I manage to control myself enough to move gently, so I don't hurt Lee, but because he frantically moves himself to meet me, I'm required to put more effort into his protection. I hold him by his hips so he can't move and hurt himself as I force myself to regain control enough to be gentle as I move so close I'm inside him. The intensification is like nothing I've ever felt before, tearing screams of pleasure from us both, every movement heightening the sensation. Again, I give up control, only being able to warrant having it for something as important as avoiding his pain. Lee, (as one might expect) is anything but passively receptive; he wriggles and rocks himself to work with me in the creation of this joyful dance. While we're here, I manage to force out "I... Love... You!" between the sounds I can't help but make. Lee moves himself in a way that, begs me to increase the pace to match his, and I oblige. I move my hips more quickly, still watching all of him with Byakugan. My eyes let me see his face, contorted in the pleasure we're sharing, his body, writhing under my own, and even the spasming of muscles around me that most people can only ever feel. I am forced dangerously close to the edge. The same motions feel different each time we repeat them until the intensity builds enough to finally push us into a simultaneous orgasm, and we both scream something that might have been the other's name if we could form coherent words through the indescribable bliss.

We lay intertwined, contentedly holding onto each other, and Lee answers what I just choked out during sex. "I love you too, Neji". I push my face into his neck and close my eyes, enjoying our bodies pressed against each other, and the feel Lee's wonderfully scarred and broken skin against mine. This contentment, perhaps magically manages to be better than the over the top sensation that was sex, obviously a much calmer sort of wonderful.

"That was amazing," I sigh contentedly.

"It was for me too!" While I'm still lying here, totally exhausted, Lee has already worked his way back up to the beautiful excitement that makes me love him so very much.

"I will always love you, protect you, and make your life wonderful. I promise it." And, for the only time in my life, I make a promise with a "Nice guy pose". Nothing can keep me from fulfilling that. Not even destiny.


	2. A Lot Of Getting Used To

"EEEEEEEK!" I wake up to Tenten shrieking at the top of her lungs and literally jump out of the bed, expecting there to be enemy ninjas trying to kill us all. Tenten looks at me and for some undiscernable reason, her shrieking gets a second wind.

"Tenten, why are you screaming?" I put my hand to my head because it's hurting in all sorts of ways, and when I pull it back away, the sight of a few dots of blood pooled on my fingers reminds me of where I am and what's going on.

"What the fuck happened to the bathroom? There's blood everywhere! And your forehead!" I'm not sure if that last sentence is a question , and I definitely don't want to explain what happened, question or not.

"Fuck." I can't seem to figure out what else to say, so contextless profanity seems like a good choice. At this, Lee, who has been sitting up in the bed since Tenten's screams woke him up, starts giggling uncontrollably and collapses back into a laying position.

"Neji, Lee, what is going on?" Tenten is becoming more distressed by the second and Lee takes it upon himself to stop this distress.

"Tenten," Lee begins "We are not in any danger"

Now that she knows that, she visibly relaxes, seeming to figure out coherent questions she wants to ask and begins with "Lee, what happened to the bathroom? Why is the door broken and the floor covered in blood?"

"I do not think I can tell you that, Tenten. I believe that there was an implicit secrecy in what happened between me and Neji last night." I crawl back into bed at that statement, and snuggle back into Lee, knowing full well that I'm dead and intending to enjoy my last moments on earth. Lee has absolutely no clue that he's made it totally obvious that we had sex.

"You two...?" Tenten looks like we've just told her she has to eat a bowl full of pickled plums. Now knowing that Lee is refusing to answer anything without my explicit permission, she turns to me and says "Neji, you and Lee did what?"

I close my eyes and nod at her. "exactly what you think."

"You, Hyuuga Neji, had sex with Rock Lee?" I nod again. "But- but... he's _Lee_! With the haircut and the eyebrows and the jumpsuit..." she stumbles into silence, an implicit "etc." in the way she does so. Suddenly I realize that from the outside, on as shallow a level as Tenten is processing it, it seems like I'm the one who is too good for Lee instead of the other way around. Insufferable guilt freezes my stomach, and in response, I commit to being 100% honest with Tenten.

"Yes, I had sex with Lee, and I am extremely lucky he was willing to do something so wonderful with me"

"You? Lucky?" She's looking like I suggested pickled plums again.

"Absolutely. Lee is the nicest person I've ever met and I've been nothing but cruel to him. I'm lucky enough that he forgives me; That he would share something so wonderful with me makes me the luckiest person in the world."

"But..." She can't seem to make sense of what I'm saying, still stuck on the fact that Lee is typically considered anything but beautiful, and, although nothing like Sasuke, there is a fair amount of girls who would jump at the chance to be in Lee's place last night... Well, for the latter part of last night anyway. "Okay..." Tenten manages to get out. "But what on earth happened to your forehead? And why is the bathroom half destroyed and covered in blood"

"I..." I smile a bit and phrase it creatively, so I don't actually have to say what I mean "Lost a fight with a really strong guy"

"But, Neji, that is not what happened" Lee begins, and I know he's planning on telling me to tell Tenten that I don't want to talk about it instead of lying to her. I hold up a hand to silence him and he obeys.

"I did lose a fight of sorts" I say "With a guy they say is most loved by the Hyuuga ability."

"Neji, that's you" she hasn't caught onto what I mean in the slightest.

I nod and say "He was trying to rid my forehead of the curse mark and express his hatred for me. I told him not to, but he was extremely persuasive."

"You _cut yourself?_" Tenten looks horrified, completely unsure of herself, and stutters "I..I'm... uh s-sorry you felt that way?"

"It's okay, Tenten, Lee made me feel better actually. I didn't want him to know, but he insisted upon caring so much he forced his way in to comfort me; That's actually the reason the bathroom door is broken. Come to think of it, how did you manage to sleep through that? Lee kicked the door entirely off of it's hinges."

"oh... Well, I slept through it because I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping, so I've been taking these." She pulls a bottle of pills out of her bag and shows them to me. "They make me pretty much dead to the world."

"Anyway, after Lee found me slicing open my forehead, he made me feel better by listening to me and then we had sex."

I'm getting the pickled plums look again as she says "Don't you at least wanna keep that quiet, Neji?" Assuming I'll be ashamed of what I've done. I can't blame her for making that assumption; If I'd slept with Lee in just about any other context, in the mindset I was in just before last night, I would've pretended it never happened. I would've been ashamed to have admitted I slept with any guy, but especially ashamed it was someone as unattractive as Lee. More guilt, a tiring sensation, so I make an effort to appease myself.

"Tenten, I understand were you're coming from, I really do, but I'm not ashamed. I'd scream it from the rooftops if I didn't know my uncle would kill me for it. I do want this kept quiet, but not for the reason you think; Not for the reason I would've wanted it before last night." Lee looks at me like I've given him the world again, and I can't seem to help but kiss him again, long and deep, in part because I want to demonstrate to Tenten just how proud I am to be this close with Lee, and in part because his face just looks so beautiful covered in shining streams of joyful tears.

"eeeeeeew!" This time Tenten verbalizes her disgust at the idea that Lee and I are together in this context. I break away to finish talking to her.

"I want this kept a secret, please. It can't get around to Hiashi, or I'm more than dead. I'm begging you not to tell anyone, Tenten, but I want to make it clear why; Nothing but bad things will come of my uncle finding this out. He's homophobic, and it wouldn't do for him to have someone sullying the Hyuuga clan's reputation by being an a same-sex relationship. He'd literally torture me to stop me from being around Lee, and frankly, I just don't want to deal with any more torture from Hiashi, or any of the head family for that matter. I love Lee, and I want everyone to know, but if I tell anyone who might tell Hiashi, my ability to be around Lee without being tortured comes into question."

Tenten has been silent through this explanation, no doubt still trying to work out why she woke up in a world so radically different from the one she went to sleep in, and she doesn't seem to realize I've stopped talking for several seconds. Eventually, though, she says "Okay, guys. My lips are sealed" She smiles at us, and continues. "We're a team, and I care about you both. I still don't understand how the two of you wound up together, and I still find it oh so disturbing, but I'd never get you hurt like that, Neji. You either, Lee" She preempts the question Lee's about to ask by adding "I know it'd hurt you maybe more than Neji to know that you had any hand in getting him hurt. You're a really nice guy, Lee."

"Thank you, Tenten" Lee and I say at the same time.

"Not a problem" And she sighs, readjusting this new world to be the one she knows again. "It'll just take a _lot _of getting used to."


	3. Every Day After Practice

Lee's bandaged fists crush fallen leaves as he screams out in pleasure. I move inside him again, and receive unbearable ecstasy from his cry of "Oh! Ne-ji!" It's my name, spilling from his lips, thoughtlessly, through blissful moans. He shifts against me, pulling his own name from my mouth through unintentional cries of pleasure.

"Oh! Lee! Oh!" Waves of pleasure make it impossible to stay in any degree of control once again, so I allow myself to get lost in my senses. Lee's broken yet soft skin under my wandering hands, the sweet grass and earth mixing their smell with the thick scent of sex, even my knees on the ground, being scratched and broken by uneven earth, in light of the pleasure, feels almost good. Lee ceases his motion, inviting me nonverbally to take more control, so I grab his hips and pull him to me. He begins to sob in pleasure, tears gushing from his eyes, and I adore every second of this. It's delicious control, almost indescribably wonderful to have him like this, actually crying because I've given him something so good.

"Lee! Oh! You're oh! Perfect!" Then I lose all ability to form coherent words. My thoughts disappear and my mind gives way into disconnected feelings; wordless pleasure. I can't suppress a scream as an orgasm, a more intense wave of pleasure, tears through me, and I nearly begin to cry myself. Lee, however, isn't ready for orgasm, so I gather my thoughts back into coherency and use my hands to coax him over the edge, and, after two weeks of this every day, my hands are skilled at drawing a pleasured set of screams from his lips, so it's only a few minutes before he's experiencing the same intense pleasure I just have. Afterwards, I replace my clothes and collapse onto the ground, and Lee follows suit.

It's been two weeks; Two weeks of sneaking around, usually in the woods after training, for precious minutes of sex and affection, under the guise of extra sparring. Contrary to what I might expect, Tenten has been a godsend for covering for us. She spends her after training hours being a good Shinobi and practicing some more, or else sealing things in scrolls, and she's more than happy to claim to be training in conjunction with us; supposedly working on something we want to surprise Gai-sensei with. This particular ruse only has a life of 3 more days before we have to show Gai-sensei some scrapped together move we've invented in 5 seconds, and I don't know how he'll react to that, but I'm pretty sure it's going to involve a punch to Lee's face for failing to train hard enough on something respectable.

But I suppose it's not like Gai-sensei doesn't know something is up; our whole team dynamic has radically changed since Lee and I started, well, dating. Don't get me wrong, I didn't turn into some kind of doting, youthful fanboy or anything; I'm still Hyuuga Neji, quiet, stoic, and dominant. And Lee's still, well, his own youthful self. Tenten's character hasn't fundamentally changed either, but the way we interact has. There's an interesting sort of fondness that comes with being teammates in secret keeping that you just can't establish being teammates as Shinobi, and this innate fondness has changed the way I look at Tenten and Lee. I suppose it's got something to do with the fact that I'm usually the one being depended upon rather than the one depending on people, and I'm so grateful to Tenten and Lee for keeping my secret. It's an attachment I can't, and don't dare to break. Tenten and Lee haven't let me down, and it seems that my gratitude for that is bleeding into our teamwork, tuning me into their emotions and intentions. I don't verbally express how I feel, of course. I'm still me, and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to share my emotions out loud. Not to mention that keeping one's emotions secret is a major part of being a good Shinobi. But I digress. After I've rested, we have a pretty serious talk that we've been avoiding thus far, with Lee resting his head on my chest and me laying on a bed of grass, leaves and dirt on the forest floor. Tenten is throwing summoned shuriken at trees about 30 feet away from us.

"Neji, what are we going to do when you are supposed to get married?" It's been an unspoken source of worry for me, wondering what's going to happen when Hiashi arranges a marriage for me. It's common practice for the head of the Hyuuga clan to dictate the marriages of the whole family, and somehow, I don't think marrying Rock Lee is a potential plan for me.

"Hell, Lee, I don't know, sneak around having an affair?" I say somewhat sarcastically, although it does seem like our only option for being together in the long term.

"I am not really certain I can handle keeping quiet about our relationship for a few more days, less yet the rest of our lives." Lee says this apologetically, as if he's giving me an incredible burden.

I sigh "I know. Neither can I. This constant secret keeping is putting me so on edge, I can barely think. Not to mention the near-constant Byakugan usage that's majorly draining my chakra. We do have to do _something_." My Byakugan is a gift from the gods in more ways than one; I can watch a good 400 yards away in all directions at once to make sure if anyone's coming, we can break apart, but I can't let my guard down for more than a minute, and Byakugan wasn't meant to be used this much, so if I don't either cut down on spending time with Lee, or find a place to do it in private, I'm going to have a pretty serious case of my fucking eyes starting fucking bleeding.

"Neji, you are a genius. Think of something."

"You know I'm not a genius in that sense. I'm just a Hyuuga abilities genius, and I'm totally at a loss." Then I kiss his forehead, a still rare, intimate gesture that sends trails of saltwater streaming down his face.

"You are so youthful when you kiss me" My first instinct is to feel insulted and tell him to quit applying his extreme fixation on youth to me, but looking at him, earnestly looking up at me, I can't help but smile slightly.

"Thank you, Lee. As for what we can do, I guess we have to keep hiding ourselves until we can figure something better out."

Tenten walks over and sits down in front of us "Lee, Neji, you do realize you guys told Gai-sensei we'd show him our amazing new surprising move in 3 days, don't you? And so far we've got nothing."

"Fuck" I used to be a lot more loathe to use profanity, especially with no context, but lately, the word "fuck" is the only thing that can succinctly express the way I feel.

"Maybe we could….." Tenten starts thinking for us. "Uh, use your um, gentle fist to… um, change the trajectory of kunai that I've thrown and…. Uh, then Lee can, um, uh… he could do a leaf whirlwind on the target from the other side?"

"And this is our brilliant move we've spent the past two weeks working on?" I ask skeptically.

"Do you have anything better? I'm only trying to help you!" Tenten says, irritated.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. No I don't have anything better. I… that's just, well, it's what we're going with, and let's just pray to the Kami that he'll accept that we're just that incompetent"

Lee chimes in "I have a feeling that showing off this move as the product of two weeks of intensive training will get me punched, but I do not mind; It will have been more than worth it."

"I'm sorry, Lee." I say sadly. I don't like him getting hit, but he and Gai-sensei have an agreement that it's okay for Gai to hit him if Lee does something that Gai considers as deserving of it.

The three of us continue to think for several minutes, but, ultimately, we go with Tenten's admittedly poor idea, simply because it's the least pathetic we can come up with.

"Well, guys, let's practice it so we can at least show him something accurate" Leave it to Tenten to phrase it in terms of accuracy. We do, despite my complete exhaustion, practice this makeshift move a few times. It takes us about half an hour before we all have our timing and coordination down. So much for two weeks of work, but it'll have to do enough for Gai-sensei not to suspect we're sneaking about in the woods, fucking every day after practice.


	4. Love Is Overflowing With Youth

"THIS IS YOUR BRILLIANT TEAM MOVE YOU SPENT TWO WEEKS WORKING ON EVERY DAY?!" Gai-sensei yells at the top of his lungs. "THAT'S NOT WORTHY OF BEING CALLED A SHINOBI SKILL.!"

Gai pulls his arm back in preparation to hit Lee, but suddenly, Tenten is in front of him and she's yelling back. "NO! Look, Gai-sensei, I know you and Lee have an agreement about you hitting him, but you really don't know the full story." Gai freezes, unwilling to hit Tenten without prior agreement.

I glare kunai at her and sharply ask "Tenten, why don't you shut your mouth?!"

"Neji, hear me out." I let out a resigned sigh that earns me an angry scowl from Tenten "I promise I won't say anything you don't want me to, but I think it's safe to tell him what's been going on. I mean, he wouldn't be willing to get you guys hurt, and you already told me; it's not that different to let our whole team know."

Tenten has a point: Gai-sensei, however strange he might be sometimes, cares very deeply for all three of us. Additionally, he is far less likely to find our relationship in any way bad than Tenten was, and he's more than willing to die for us, even if it's just to keep us happy and safe from Hiashi. Keeping our secret from Hiashi isn't something out of the question for Gai. I'd really prefer to make it a matter of policy, though, that I don't let anyone know. I mean, I know nobody's running around torturing people to get information about who Hyuuga Neji is in a gay relationship with, but I'd just prefer people not to know, because _something_ could happen that's out of their control. A part of me that I wish to keep private is also telling me that Gai shouldn't have to take on that kind of responsibility, just for me. In this case, however, Gai-sensei knows that _something_ is going on, and he can't be fooled forever. Coming clean now probably can't hurt us any, and might make it a little easier to function.

As I think all of this over in my head, Tenten is still being a human shield for Lee, asking Gai-sensei "Can you please just know that you don't know the whole story and that Lee doesn't honestly think that that move is any good?"

Gai-sensei is utterly confused by this, so I take a deep breath and chime in "Gai-sensei, we have something we probably ought to tell you" He implores me with those utterly intense eyes of his to go on. I try to think of how to phrase it and decide fuck it. I turn to Lee and open my arms.

"Are you certain this is what you want to do?" He's concerned for me, wanting to make sure I've thought it over well enough.

"To be honest, I'm not certain at all about anything but that I will keep the promise I made to you. This seems to be the best way to do that." Lee's tears gush down his cheeks, uninhibited and honestly, each time they do so, the guilt that's settled in my stomach melts away a little. Making Lee cry in happiness instead of helplessness is a way to internally atone for my sins. Instead of letting on any of those feelings, I turn my attention back to Gai, and because it's easier than verbally explaining this to him, I pull Lee into my open arms and push my lips to his, kissing him deeply and intensely. After 30 seconds or so, I pull away, and look at Gai.

Gai is looking at us, his mouth gaping in utter bewilderment. He can't seem to speak at all for several minutes. I chuckle slightly, partially from awkward nervousness, and partially because Gai looks humorous to say the least. Then, without warning, there are tears streaming down his face and he's screaming "YOUR LOVE IS SO YOUTHFUL!"

"Oh, Kami." I sigh, and suddenly his arms are crushing me against Lee, and his tears are soaking our hair.

"LOVE IS ALWAYS A PART OF THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH AND I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO" He's yelling at us and his excitement infects Lee, whose tears are flowing even more freely than they were before.

"THANK YOU, GAI-SENSEI! YOUR APPROVAL MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!" Lee hugs him back tightly, just as I start struggling to get away.

"Gai, you're crushing me" I somehow manage to get enough air into my lungs to say as I try to pry his arms off of me. He continues crying, screaming more about how youthful our love is, and I squeeze myself out under his arm, discontentedly readjusting my clothes and trying to wring the salt water out of my hair. To be honest, I'm pretty pleased his reaction was so enthusiastic, rather than angry, but I just sigh and roll my eyes at Gai and Lee, in tears in each other's arms; the picture of youth. Tenten is nearly on the ground, laughing at this whole event.

"Neji, your love is 'so youthful'" she teases gleefully, through fits of laughter.

"Shut up, Tenten." I say coolly, but she ignores this and continues to giggle up at me from the ground.

Finally, Gai and Lee stop crushing each other, and Gai says "Wait, what does that have to do with the skills you've been practicing?"

I start laughing again, and Tenten, having already been laughing, is reduced to hysterics, because he couldn't figure that out. Lee Helpfully begins to spell it out to him.

"Gai-sensei, I am sorry that we were dishonest with you, but we were trying to keep things private, so we have been using practice as an excuse to be alone in the woods together to engage in the more personal side of our romantic activities." Tenten's laughter becomes earsplitting at Lee's euphemism for sex. "We have not honestly been practicing at all"

"Oh." Then Gai's face falls "You felt like you couldn't tell me? Why?" he's nearly crying again, and I stop him.

"No, Gai-sensei, we didn't feel like we couldn't. I just really need this kept secret. Hiashi won't like it and I don't want to deal with him hearing it."

"But, Neji-" I cut him off

"No, I don't think you would tell anyone, but I didn't want to give you that kind of responsibility"

His facial expression rapidly changes from hurt to nearly crying in joy, and I somewhat coldly add "Also, it's actually none of your business unless we want it to be"

He doesn't seem to hear it, however, and simply says "I'm honored to be trusted with your secrets, Neji."

I don't answer, and hope the slight blush creeping up my face isn't noticeable. I quickly redirect my conversation to Tenten, who is still crying from hysterical laughter "Can you just shut up already, Tenten?"

"Hell, no! This is the best thing to happen to our team since ever." But her laughter contradicts her by dying down, and she lays back in the grass, looking at the clouds. "It is actually pretty great for you two. I really like that you're happy".

And again my cheeks burn slightly from the inside, so I turn back to Gai. "So, you'll keep it quiet, and you're, well, fine with, me and lee being in a relationship?"

"FINE? I'M NOT FINE WITH MY TEAM MEMBERS LOVING EACH OTHER! I AM ECSTATIC! YOUR LOVE IS OVERFLOWING WITH YOUTH!"


End file.
